Published by HarperTeen on September 19th 2017
Genres: Social & Family Issues, Young Adult
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New York Times bestselling author Zac Brewer delivers his most honest and gripping novel yet, about a girl who believes she’s beyond saving—until she realizes the only person who can save her is herself.
Brooke Danvers is pretending to be fine. She’s gotten so good at pretending that they’re letting her leave inpatient therapy. Now she just has to fake it long enough for her parents and teachers to let their guard down. This time, when she's ready to end her life, there won’t be anyone around to stop her.
Then Brooke meets Derek. Derek is the only person who really gets what Brooke is going through, because he’s going through it too. As they start spending more time together, Brooke suddenly finds herself having something to look forward to every day and maybe even happiness.
But when Derek’s feelings for her intensify, Brooke is forced to accept that the same relationship that is bringing out the best in her might be bringing out the worst in Derek—and that Derek at his worst could be capable of real darkness.
This is my first book from Brewer and I knew what I was getting myself in when I read the blurb, but the pure bluntness of the main characters thoughts made my heart hurt. But it was so good, now on to the story itself.
Brooke has just come home from a stay at a mental rehabilitation facility. She is pretending that everything is great, which is a lie. She’s is lying to her parents, and ever her long time best friend. Brooke is not okay, she is planning on taking her life when no one expects her too. Brooke does return to school and meets a new student, who happens to be a guy who also has tried to take his life before as well. They find a new found friendship in each other, which turns into much more. Brook and Derek’s relationship turns into big problems for Brookes mental health and Dereks.
Brooke didn’t want to live, she felt no reason or purpose, and her voice was clear, blunt and heartbreaking. Her parents were so supportive, loving, and were trying to help her and understand, and my heart just went out to them. Yes, they were a little over protective now, but I would be too. Duckie, her best friend was there for her also after she came home, he was such a sweet heart and he seemed to really care and love her. Brook has to attend therapy sessions and she first meets Derek there, and then realizes that he goes to her school. And even Derek, I felt bad for him. his home life was horrible. It is so hard to tell about them more than I already have without telling events that happened, which would give away way to much.
The therapy sessions between Brooke and her therapist were woven into her story so well, and in such a way that we get to see how Brooke really felt and what she thought without anything holding back. I know that mental health issues are a touchy subject, but I do believe that Brewer did an amazing job handling this sensitive issue. Following the progress that Brooke made was both gut wrenching at times and inspiring. We have to remember there is happiness in our lives and we just have to find it.
I enjoyed this so much, and think this is a great read. I would definitely recommend picking this one up.